{"id":5099,"date":"2018-12-05T00:40:20","date_gmt":"2018-12-05T00:40:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/parental-leave-the-good-the-bad-and-the-unexpected\/"},"modified":"2018-12-05T00:40:20","modified_gmt":"2018-12-05T00:40:20","slug":"parental-leave-the-good-the-bad-and-the-unexpected","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/parental-leave-the-good-the-bad-and-the-unexpected\/","title":{"rendered":"Parental leave: The good, the bad and the unexpected"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\"AndyImage copyright<\/span>
\n Andy Shelley<\/span><\/p>\n

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Image caption<\/span>
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\n Andy Shelley says his time on parental leave was “eye-opening”
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\n <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Following the release of a poll which suggested 27% of mothers did not enjoy their maternity leave as much as they thought they would, parents have been sharing their experience of parental leave – both good and bad.<\/p>\n

Many people got in touch following BBC Radio 5 Live presenter Emma Barnett’s open and honest account<\/a> of her time away from work looking after her baby son, a time which she described as being “bloody hard and at times, lonely”.<\/p>\n

So what’s it like to be the one who stays at home and looks after the baby? Three parents share their very different experiences.<\/p>\n

‘I thought my partner was just off work’<\/h2>\n

Andy Shelley’s girlfriend gave birth to their daughter in March and the couple decided to take shared parental leave<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Prior to making that choice, Andy’s partner had been looking after their daughter while he worked 12-hour days. <\/p>\n

“It was difficult because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough,” he says.<\/p>\n

Thirty-year-old Andy took over full-time care for two months in July, but admits he was not aware just how much work was involved in staying home and looking after his daughter.<\/p>\n

“Initially I thought parental leave would be a nice break from work – but it wasn’t easy.<\/p>\n

“Some days she would be upset and I just didn’t know what to do. Your entire day revolves around feeds. It becomes a full-time job in itself. <\/p>\n

“I would be happy when my partner came home from work as it meant I could have a break.”<\/p>\n

The Stoke-On-Trent resident says his experience of parental leave was important as he realised how much his girlfriend had been doing when he thought she was “just off work”.<\/p>\n

“It made me appreciate everything she had done and ultimately cemented my relationship with my daughter.<\/p>\n

“It’s a shame more fathers don’t take parental leave as it really opens your eyes and you realise what your partner has to deal with.”<\/p>\n

‘I made sure I kept busy’<\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n

Image copyright<\/span>
\n Sandrine Charpentier<\/span><\/p>\n

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Image caption<\/span>
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\n Sandrine Charpentier says she had a “clear vision” for her maternity leave and made sure it was a “wonderful experience”
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Sandrine Charpentier, from Hayes in Kent, says her maternity leave with both of her daughters, who are now aged six and nine, was a “really positive experience”.<\/p>\n

Despite not knowing many people where she lived, Sandrine made sure she wasn’t isolated by booking a different activity every day.<\/p>\n

“We would do baby swimming, yoga, singing and play groups. It motivated me to get dressed and get out of the house.<\/p>\n

“The whole time I was really tired but I thought that was just part of the job.<\/p>\n

“It was great to meet people, be social and talk about our experiences. I was really happy during that time and it was great for my daughters.”<\/p>\n

As much as she enjoyed her maternity leave, the mum-of-two admits it was also nice to return to work.<\/p>\n

“Being at work was like a holiday because I was free to do what I wanted. I didn’t have somebody glued to me all the time.<\/p>\n

“It was good to do something different, to meet people and not talk about nappies and babies all the time.”<\/p>\n

‘It’s difficult to be accepted as a stay-at-home dad’<\/h2>\n
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Image copyright<\/span>
\n PA<\/span><\/p>\n

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Image caption<\/span>
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\n People were shocked when Craig Smith said he was going to be a stay-at-home father
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\n <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Craig Smith, 42, from Staffordshire became a stay-at-home dad to his daughter, Matilda, in January when she was eight months old.<\/p>\n

His wife has a high-level job so they decided that it would be best for him to give up work and focus on their daughter’s early years.<\/p>\n

“I was very up for the challenge as I’ve always wanted children, but I didn’t really think about what was involved in being a full-time dad.<\/p>\n

“Sometimes it’s hard because all Matilda wants is her mum.”<\/p>\n

Craig says his experience made him realise there is not enough support for stay-at-home dads.<\/p>\n

“I tried to integrate with local playgroups, but the mums can be quite cliquey and it’s very difficult for a dad to be accepted.<\/p>\n

“A lot of mum-and-baby groups say fathers are welcome but in reality it’s not like that – the mums can be quite cold.”<\/p>\n

Craig is planning on going back to work part-time when Matilda starts nursery, but says he feels anxious at the prospect of returning to normality.<\/p>\n

“It feels like my brain has been conditioned to sing to Peppa Pig or nursery rhymes. The thought of carrying out serious and responsible tasks within a role kind of scares me.”<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n


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Image copyright Andy Shelley Image caption Andy Shelley says his time on parental leave was “eye-opening” Following the release of a poll which suggested 27% of mothers did not enjoy their maternity leave as much as they thought they would, parents have been sharing their experience of parental leave – both good and bad. Many … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":5100,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5099","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5099","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5099"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5099\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.styledeals.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}